MAY 1976

HIGH GEAR

Page 7

The phallus has always been an important subject of art and architecture since prehistoric times. The earliest forms of worship incorporated phallic symbols. As ancient civilizations progressed, representations of the male sexual organ became more ornate, refined, and imposing. In some societies phallic renderings were quite imitative or "true-to-life." One gigantic column in Ethiopia, for example, carefully reflects the contours of the shaft and head of a circumcised penis. In most civilizations the penis is discreetly generalized, as an obelisk in ancient Egypt and Rome, a minaret, stupa, or pagoda in Asia, and a pole, tower, spire, and pinnacle in Europe.

As unbelievable as it may seem, even the Christmas tree is derived from a phallic symbol. The Teutonic worshippers of the Norse god, Odin, customarily erected a post made from a fir trunk for use in mid-winter fertility rituals. Not only did this "Pillar of Odin" evolve into the Christmas tree, but it also found its way into Gothic architecture as a sharp, rigid steeple and bell-tower.

Humanity's overwhelming fascination with sexuality has generated endless examples of phallic art in the Western hemisphere ranging from Cracow's Florian Gate to old Chicago's Water Tower. Not unlike most European and American cities, Cleveland, too, has its favorite phalli, the foremost of which are (judging from post cards): the Terminal Tower, Garfield's Tomb, the Soldier's and Sailor's Memorial, and the clock tower of the West Side Market.

Besides being a fine example of Stalinist architecture and a symbol of virility, the Terminal Tower is the symbol of Cleveland itself. Its glans, illuminated nightly by Ralph Perk, can be, seen at great distances (confusing migratory birds).

Lakeview Cemetery is "hung like a horse" with Garfield's Tomb which can be viewed from

CLEVELAND'S

many parts of Cleveland Hts. and University Circle. Its swollen, stubby turret looks more like an Armenian church than a Gothic pylon. But that makes it all the more tempting to some sex-starved Colossus.

FAVORITE

PHALLIC MONUMENTS

The Soldiers' and Sailors' Monument which almost cohabits with the Terminal Tower on Public (pubic?) Square, is indeed a bronze beauty to behold (be held?). It is embraced by no fewer than FIVE huge rings which look though they must have been ordered through some gigantic S and M mail-order catalog. Its foreskin is sensuously peeled back, and it spews an armed Victory into the air.

as

The clock tower of the West Side Market is a golden masterpiece rivaling any in

Venice's St. Mark's Square. It flushes as the Cleveland sun goes down on it each evening. The scent of fresh meat on sale within permeates it constantly.

Although these four monuments are our town's most

celebrated phalli, there are countless others here, such as the five uncircumcised cupolas of St. Theodosius' Cathedral which are felatiated daily by Republic Steel's ferric fumes. Or I might mention the threateningly hypodermic shaft of Case Western Reserve University's Michaelson-Morley Fountain.

In short, with all the classic and tasteful art we have right here in Cleveland who needs a twenty pound, gold-plated mail order giggy from New York?

J I J L J T

now sowned ep to seòmr

Aries

YOUR GAY

HOROSCOPE

You are individualistic and can successfully "buck the current". You are adept at achieving natural highs. This month beware of hunters who may mistake you for a mountain goat.

Taurus

You are imposing and as immovable as Gilbraltor. You are stable, discreet, and selfsufficient. Soon you will receive recognition for what you are: a hulk.

Gemini

People like you. You are very sociable. Your talent for social functions makes you a muchadmired socialite. This month you will contract a social disease.

and

will be accepted and respected by your society and peers. (A handsome prince will kiss you and turn you into a straight frog).

Scorpio

You are courageous, resourceful, and feared by your enemies. You cannot be easily taken advantage of. This month, beware of cruifixes and mirrors.

Saggitarius

You will always be successful in achieving your primary goals. This month you will meet an intelligent, attractive person of the I same sex who will say tender and wonderful things to you. This person will take you home, chain you to his basement floor and show you a collection of antique razors.

CANCER

"Careful"

and "wary" describe your demeanor. Few things are beyound your reach. Many cancers are caused by heavy smoking.

Capricorn You maneuver well under pressure and exude special

qualities which are known to important people far and wide. tually unknown if you keep your This month, you will become vir-

shoes on.

Leo

You are tough and mean, a born leader. Your Woolworth's cowboy hat will fall apart in a thunderstorm later this month..

Virgo

Virgos are honest and uncomplicated, modest and unassuming. You are a virgin and will shortly prove yourself ridiculous in bed.

Libra

During May all guilt over past misdeeds will vanish. You will be transformed into a new being

Aquarius

You are lucid, reliable and unpretentious. Aquarians, of course, are keen on water sports. Plan to cruise the seven seas this month but don't plan to cruise anything else.

Pisces

Your genius devotes you to intellectual pursuits. You are wellbred and far removed from common banalities. You are a fish.

a new being subun